The things I miss

 Dancing 

I have almost forgotten how it feels like to dance so openly on stage and how my muscle will ache after each satisfying practice. Nevertheless, it still warms my hearts when i see my dance students coming up to me when I will sit in for observation and ask how my back is. Their promise of standing on stage that I dream off in representative of me just keeps me going on when I feel like giving up. No doubt, they are all God given presents.

Given a chance, I wanna make DANCE IT public. Where all the students are free to do what they want to do (: I have made a promise and i will never go against my words.

Grandfather.

He is part of the reason why I'm here and who I am today. He loves me when I don't deserve it the most He never allow me to lie to myself, even if others do not know the truth. He made me wanna be special, set apart of the world. Not in terms of looks and all these things that how bimbo a girl should be even though i have friends that are close to me that things outer appearance is everything. He taught me to be special in a different way, to make a difference in people's life to let them know there is still Hope. Help to change the negative things of the world and be the girl that give people story to tell(a good one).

He might not have know what Christ is but he was surely walking in it when he was still in the world.

You. 

Right from the end of secondary 3, it has been just you and nobody else. Sometimes I just miss you so much that i feel like breaking down. The things that we shared. the thing i miss the most will be your scent and comforting hug that ease my emotions everything I'm in your arms and taking in how smoothing you smell.

I just hope that one day when we meet again, we are able to speak to each other again.

I have never been a person who accept praise, thanks as they come. I feel awkward all the time. People usually enjoy being the spotlight, but i don't. I only ask for being the spotlight when it comes to the one I love. Simple as that. The only special one that matters the most to me.


Don't people feel pressurized when other come to you and say ' hey, you did great. I'm looking forward to something better next time! ' or when the little ones that you are grooming come to you and say ' you are my role model, i hope i can be like you when i grow up '

More than often, i freak out when i hear all these statements. I'm just who i am.I just want to be who i want to be and yet i don't want to be a disappointment to others expectation. I dream of doing the craziest things in life whereby i don't have to answer to anybody about my actions.

I like things to go according to my mood, i don't like to be tied down when i know i still have so much more that i have not experience or tasted in my life. Yet at the same time, you want a reason why you doll up and look forward to meeting every single time. A person that is willing and proud for you to call him your another half.

I want to be special in my own way, that i don't have to answer to anybody in this world. What everybody think and saw in me was just the surface. I'm a sucker for a deep conversation and intellectual comments and advise than whats on the surface.

Apart from the loud, playful and all smiling me, the quiet, observant and deep in thoughts me is still the dominant one in my life. I might appear to strong and all things just goes well in my life but i still want a pair of arm that I can go to when i go home. I will be lying if i say i don't miss him.

Cough medicine also does this to me, but i seriously miss you being in my life.