I have never been a person who accept praise, thanks as they come. I feel awkward all the time. People usually enjoy being the spotlight, but i don't. I only ask for being the spotlight when it comes to the one I love. Simple as that. The only special one that matters the most to me.


Don't people feel pressurized when other come to you and say ' hey, you did great. I'm looking forward to something better next time! ' or when the little ones that you are grooming come to you and say ' you are my role model, i hope i can be like you when i grow up '

More than often, i freak out when i hear all these statements. I'm just who i am.I just want to be who i want to be and yet i don't want to be a disappointment to others expectation. I dream of doing the craziest things in life whereby i don't have to answer to anybody about my actions.

I like things to go according to my mood, i don't like to be tied down when i know i still have so much more that i have not experience or tasted in my life. Yet at the same time, you want a reason why you doll up and look forward to meeting every single time. A person that is willing and proud for you to call him your another half.

I want to be special in my own way, that i don't have to answer to anybody in this world. What everybody think and saw in me was just the surface. I'm a sucker for a deep conversation and intellectual comments and advise than whats on the surface.

Apart from the loud, playful and all smiling me, the quiet, observant and deep in thoughts me is still the dominant one in my life. I might appear to strong and all things just goes well in my life but i still want a pair of arm that I can go to when i go home. I will be lying if i say i don't miss him.

Cough medicine also does this to me, but i seriously miss you being in my life.